My hands are small but they’re stretched wide
Like a spider’s net and
They’re trembling like tissue paper
So I don’t notice your stares
No, you can’t know what’s wrong with me
It would take years to explain and honestly
I feel way too old
To compromise.
I could use the word atrophy
But that’s such a vague word
For such an old friend.
For now, why [...]
Don’t
Push the button, you tell me
I look down at its red surface:
dial-a-nurse
I listen, but I want
to keep pushing - keep pushing! -
Until someone realizes the state we’re in
“Another girl came in, her girlfriend sat beside her -”
says the nurse, talking, - talking -
We are so quiet
I nod but wonder - girl friend or girlfriend?
You look [...]
The assaults.
Assault? What assault?
My brain asks.
It just keeps repeating the word:
Assault assault assault assault assault all the way into the distance.
My throat hurts. My chest hurts.
The gigantic weight of what I have to say
Feels awkward in my throat,
Like I swallowed a piece of fruit -
I am choking.
I have choked before,
And it was in some ways [...]
